10 years or innocence lost

Why does it still seem so fresh?

I worked at a telemarketing firm in Davenport, Iowa, but that day I was at home sick. I remember waking up and calling into work and then heading back to bed. I finally woke around nine and did what I always did back then, I checked my email and went to a Vikings chat board. There were always other guys on there and it was fun to talk to them.

When I went on there that morning it was different and I realized right away that something was very wrong. A guy who I'd come to know a little bit was doing most of the posting with other people asking him questions. His handle was NJVike, as in New Jersey. He could see the smoke.

I turned on the TV. within five minutes of me watching the first tower collapsed. I was home alone and felt so helpless. I could only watch. Just like you. It was horrifying, even now, as I write and remember, the emotions are back. Why does it seem so fresh?

The other tower fell soon after and by then it was so absolutely surreal I felt like our world was ending. I called my mom because my wife was at school. No answer. I remember leaving her a message that said that I was at home sick and getting sicker. I called my work because I knew we called the East Coast first, but of course they were already well aware of what was going on. That's all I could think to do.

There was mass confusion and chaos. There were so many erroneous reports of hijacked planes, of course there was no way of knowing that at the moment. I think they were reporting up to twelve planes had been hijacked. I remember they vacated the Sears Tower in Chicago and I know there were many places in LA that cleared out, too.

As the day went on there were reports of a gas shortage and I remember two things vividly.

The first was that there was a huge line at the gas station near our apartment and I went there to stay in line and get gas because there were reports that it might get up to $4/gallon.

Secondly, while we were in line I was listening to the local radio station and they had a local guy on there where most stations had gone to a national feed. There was a caller who asked the host if Air Force One had gone over Davenport and the host said that they had. So I hopped out of my car and looked up. Sure enough there were five streams of vapor indicating there were planes traveling west to east. By that time of day all air traffic had been grounded, so it was clear it was Air Force One with an Air Force escort. The president had been in Florida when the the planes hit, but they sent him first to Barksdale Air Force Base in Louisville then to Offutt Air Force Base in Nebraska before he headed back to the White House. His flight took him right over Davenport. It was an incredible mix of emotions when I saw that. I was extremely scared, but proud. I was in shock, but wanted vengeance. But mostly, I felt a bond with the country.

I had always had an awe of what we stood for and the amazing system of government and free market system we enjoy here and our incredible military. In that time after 9/11 there was a unity in this country that was amazing while it lasted.

Everyone has a story and those stories should be told. There are some who think we should not dredge up old memories of a terrible event. I completely disagree. This was a defining moment in our country's history. We still feel the ramifications of that day with our soldiers fighting abroad for our way of life. Domestically, new procedures, laws and heck, even those scrolling news tickers on the all-news stations are daily reminders of that Tuesday morning ten years ago.

Why is it still so fresh? I suppose when you lose your innocence, that's what happens.The blinders were taken off of us and we were exposed to very harsh reality and were shown that we are not as safe as we thought and that there are people in the world that want our blood to run in the streets. Unfortunately, when innocence is taken, hearts become hardened, cynicism rules the day and in-fighting becomes the norm. I think the only way to combat that is to take personal responsibility in your thoughts, words and actions. Don't give in to the cynicism, don't buy the negativity. Know that your neighbor, whether he agrees with you or not politically, is still your brother. That his struggles are probably the same struggles you have. That even though he voted for the other guy, he is not some caricature that your party paints of him. When we start loving people, serving people and taking more of an interest in building each other up rather than tearing them down, that will be the ultimate victory. It starts with you and me making that choice.